hello again

August 15, 2010

walk tonight,
there’s a breath of autumn
on the breeze in my hair
long now, longer than ever
tickling my shoulders as it moves.
here i am, in this little town
of mine, summer’s ending
there – and there again,
the familiar tugging in my chest
as i try to pull away from
the inevitable:
goodbye is coming again.
strings wrapped around me
i can feel life twisting me up
adulthood; what does that
even mean?
i’m seeking refuge in my
nostalgia; a weekend in
Lakeside, a late night walk
wondering if the others i have
loved, still wonder about me.
just learned David is married –
just watched Micah’s brother
(yes, the other one) get married
my turn is coming up fast
so exhilarating, so terrifying
so – grown up.
two years ago i was ready for this,
to be an adult and start my life
but now i’m backpedaling
furiously, how can i already decide?
how can i be me – who am i really?
i guess let’s just focus on the
little things –
let’s get through this goodbye
because it’s the last goodbye
like it
we’ll ever have.