October 12, 2009

my dog died on Wednesday –
i was shocked;
he hadn’t been sick
i wasn’t there, obviously
stuck a thousand miles away
my mother’s voice through the phone
breaking the blunt news.
my beautiful puppy, with those
sweet sweet brown eyes
and his whiskery eyebrows
and the way he looked up at you,
like you couldn’t do anything wrong.
when he was just a puppy, he was
already enormous
i was twelve when we got him, and
i remember pressing my face against his
thick black fur
and those enormous puppy paws.
so eager to please, and so protective
pacing on the shore of the river
watching nervously as the kids swam.
last night my best friend from when i was
a little girl, long ago
we’ve lost touch, it’s been so long
but her dad died in the afternoon;
she came home with her mother and he was gone.
i’m so homesick tonight i can’t think
feeling so helpless, because
i’m grieving here by myself,
and there’s nothing i can do to help those
who i love and miss and who are grieving too.
it has been 51 days since i last saw Micah
51 days too many;
this week, too much death, too much work
too much feeling sick and rundown
too much coughing and aching.
i don’t want to study anymore, even though
i have a very difficult test on Wednesday.
thank God, only 96 hours
until he’s finally back in my arms.

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