March 16, 2009

now that my eyes aren’t
so puffy and red,
i’m feeling calmer
(and a little less bitter)
here we are:
Micah left last night after
9 beautiful days
our longest visit away from our families;
it was like playing house for a week.
he slept in while i went to class,
made dinner while i did homework –
we spent lazy evenings
watching old episodes of House
and making love.
we visited the MFA,
saw the Harvard Glee Club perform,
attended a Speakeasy party dressed as gangsters,
got cannoli at Mike’s,
celebrated his 20th birthday…
for a week we got to pretend like we were a normal couple
like all of my friends and their boyfriends
and we sat together and drank vodka and juice
laughing about the week –
it felt right, and good
so of course, saying goodbye again
felt just as wrong (if not more) than ever
i can’t believe it’s been almost 2 years already;
how can i still be so in love?
hard to believe that i thought a month
was enough to know someone;
it’s been 20 and i’m still learning each day
i’m sorry for being so depressing sometimes
i really am awfully spoiled – that last break
was the longest all semester: 6 weeks
we’ll both be home in 11 days
granted, we’ll only see each other for
perhaps a few hours, at best
but i’ll be in St. Louis again in a month
and we’ll both be home for the summer
part of me still wants to scream with frustration
(though i’m nearly 20; shouldn’t i be more grown up
than wanting to scream?)
because we can’t have the simple things –
doing homework together,
cooking dinner, watching TV
the mundanity is what i wish for the most.
anyway, i have a lot of work to do
and the harder i work, the sooner
spring break will be here.


2 Responses to “”

  1. I used to be one of those girls that complained if I didn’t get to see my boyfriend everday, because that’s what I was used to.
    Now that we go to different colleges, I cannot stand those girls. Sometimes when I hang out with my friends (it’s mainly two different couples) I get really frustrated because I feel like it should be the six of us, not those four+me.

    • it always gets so relative, doesn’t it? i know a boy whose girlfriend goes to Boston college, about an hour away by public transportation – the trip costs about $2. he complains that he never sees her, and that visiting is such a hassle – but when you compare a $2, hour-long T-ride to the $300, 6-7 hour ordeal of buses, airports, security, and airplanes, i know that i would kill to have that kind of opportunity.

      i know that when we’re both home for the summer i’ll start to get frustrated if i don’t get to see him every day…i just have to remember that i’m lucky in ways that other couples aren’t. for example, i get to have “magical airport moments”, and get postcards in the mail, and have roses delivered on Valentine’s day.

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