March 3, 2009

i’ve met with MIT Mental Health
and Student Support Services
this has affected me more than i realized;
i have been told it may be PTSD
i have spent the last two days
with my emotions all over the place –
sometimes with incredible anxiety,
sometimes with utter apathy and exhaustion.
i spoke with Caitlin, who has decided she
will date him, give him a chance
because he’s a "really nice guy"
and that is her perogative
(after all, if he touches her,
it’ll be because she welcomed it)
i will be seeing a psychologist
and a dean sent a message to my professors
asking them to help me as much as possible
because i am struggling with a personal problem.
Caitlin and i will keep communicating;
i will get help, and she will keep him
away from here as much as possible
and i am learning:
he will never touch me again, so
as violated as i felt, it’s over now
so now it’s just the rest of this ridiculous week
three tests in three days,
and Micah will here in 72 hours
(that’s nothing, that’s nothing!)
and he will erase these awful
memories from my skin
and i’ll remember what being loved feels like.


One Response to “”

  1. I’m happy you are dealing with this in some manner. I’m sorry your friend has decided to allow him over at all….very thoughtless of her IMO.

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