March 1, 2009

almost 3 years ago,
during a weekend visit to MIT,
a friend and i decided to stay at a
frat house (perhaps not the wisest choice,
but it was a 2 miles walk back to campus
and it was 4 am, and raining)
there were about 6 or 7 other
"prefrosh" visiting, all of us
gathered in one room at the frat
sitting in a circle, talking, late at night
we got tired; we laid down; all of us,
side by side
i was sleeping between two boys:
my friend, Kevin, and another boy
named Rob
who i didn’t know; had never met
i laid down so i faced Kevin’s back
and Rob was lying so he faced mine
we fell asleep and when i woke up
Rob’s hand was under my shirt,
under my bra, squeezing my bare breast
and i didn’t do anything –
i didn’t move, i didn’t scream
i didn’t elbow him in the gut
and call him a pervert to his face
i just laid there, frozen
with his hand on my breast
until after a while, he moved his hand
down, across my stomach
and tried to put it down my pants
i clamped my elbow down on his wrist,
held him still so he couldn’t reach
after a minute, i sat up and woke up Kevin
i said "we need to leave,"
so we did.
then tonight, i was making myself dinner
and my suitemate, Caitlin, walks into the kitchen
followed closely by a boy
when i look up, i see that it is Rob
and have to hold my breath to keep from
throwing up all over the stove.
it turns out that Caitlin is interested in Rob,
and her friend Kelly doesn’t want me to tell her
what he did to me
because she doesn’t think it’s "that big of a deal"
and i shouldn’t ruin Caitlin’s potential relationship
so now i’m in my room,
cold, shivering, still feeling somewhat sick
because the boy who molested me knows where i live
knowing that if i tell Caitlin,
she and Kelly will be angry at me
knowing that if i don’t tell Caitlin,
i will be forced to face him every day
biting my tongue
and hoping that somehow i "get over it".


6 Responses to “”

  1. I think that is something that your friend should know

  2. I would rather be told that my potential boyfriend is…what that boy is.

  3. Please, please tell her. For your benefit and hers.

  4. Listen… need to tell her, and you need to be assertive about it. Also, if you have another male friend at school bring him in on this so you have some back-up if, and when he’s over so you can shove this right back in his face if you have to. You can’t show any fear, or give this guy an inch. Get a male friend involved who makes it clear to him that he will kick his ass if he so much as looks at you. You have no choice but to b aggressive here or it will get worse.

  5. schizometria Says:

    :S that sounds pretty bad
    I hope it works out somehow…

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