December 15, 2008

notice how time moves differently
when it comes down to the crunch?
minutes dripping past painfully slow
only to find that the hours have disappeared
in an instant
when next i look up.
this is my last chance to breathe;
tomorrow my exams begin and
i will spend (literally) 16 hours of the day
bent over my notes or a test
until Thursday, 4:30
i’m struggling not to panic;
not working out so well, considering
the meltdown i had last night
and well, it’s just difficult
to accept that i am not the
"smart girl" anymore;
i am proud of myself if i score above
average – a far stretch from
even scoring above average doesn’t feel so good
when average is near 55%
i just need to keep my head on straight
and my thoughts focused
this is the third time i’ve done this;
it’s harder now than it was before,
but i can do it
it just gets harder and harder
as each day passes
but each day slows exponentially
so it seems that Saturday
(5 days away)
is about a year from now
and i have mountains to climb to get there
until i fly out in the dark of a December morning
and wake up at home.


One Response to “”

  1. Hang in there:) When I was a freshman at Harvard I was overwhelmed. You are doing better than average at a school that’s a lot more difficult than Harvard:)

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