December 25, 2007

my parents bought me a ticket
Boston to St. Louis
St. Louis to Boston
round trip
for the weekend after Valentine’s day
and you know, i’ve always
hated
the holiday (not for the holiday’s
sake, just for what it was
supposed to mean)
my parents, well,
they’re misguided about some
things and we struggle to
compromise
but at the heart of it,
i can see that they are trying.

it’s been a long day and
i haven’t spoken to Micah yet;
his family is very strict about
Christmas as a “family thing”
i’m not part of the family
just yet
give it a few years, then perhaps
but i’ve been thinking of him constantly
and how grateful i am
he does not judge
he does not question
i don’t have to impress
or explain
or prove
and today i woke up from a dream
where he and i woke up together
wrapped in sunlight and each other
on a Christmas midmorning
and i keep thinking
someday, someday

he gave me a painting
it’s like i’m looking through his eyes,
seeing myself before him
and the city skyline across the harbor
remembering when we stood on the breakwater
and he told me for the first time
“you make me happy”

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