December 30, 2007

Nebraska is lame.
if only for the fact that my boyfriend is there instead of here.

at least he’ll be home tomorrow.

December 25, 2007

my parents bought me a ticket
Boston to St. Louis
St. Louis to Boston
round trip
for the weekend after Valentine’s day
and you know, i’ve always
hated
the holiday (not for the holiday’s
sake, just for what it was
supposed to mean)
my parents, well,
they’re misguided about some
things and we struggle to
compromise
but at the heart of it,
i can see that they are trying.

it’s been a long day and
i haven’t spoken to Micah yet;
his family is very strict about
Christmas as a “family thing”
i’m not part of the family
just yet
give it a few years, then perhaps
but i’ve been thinking of him constantly
and how grateful i am
he does not judge
he does not question
i don’t have to impress
or explain
or prove
and today i woke up from a dream
where he and i woke up together
wrapped in sunlight and each other
on a Christmas midmorning
and i keep thinking
someday, someday

he gave me a painting
it’s like i’m looking through his eyes,
seeing myself before him
and the city skyline across the harbor
remembering when we stood on the breakwater
and he told me for the first time
“you make me happy”

December 24, 2007

it really is a happy holiday.

December 22, 2007

when we are together
in my bed, late at night
and he stares –
a crease between his eyebrows,
so hard at my face
and the light on his
cheek and nose
these are moments when
i’m quite sure
there’s no where else i could be.
teasing me with his
pianist’s fingers,
kissing the tip of my nose
and when we move
together,
i almost want to cry
with happiness
and in my head i ask
how is it that i am the luckiest person alive?

December 20, 2007

home.
thank God.

December 19, 2007

done.
going home.

i’m 1/8 of the way finished with this place
which seems like a very surreal thought
as i’m quite sure i have
not yet begun.

and only 9 hours until i’m in his arms again.

December 19, 2007

fuck.

December 18, 2007

2/3 of the way there.
in celebration,
some procrastination!

1) Where did you begin 2007?
I was in London on a school trip; I was dancing with my friends.

2) What was your status by Valentine’s Day?
Single with a question mark – my ex boyfriend had recently reappeared in my life.

3) Were you in school (anytime this year)?
All year except for June to August.

4) How did you earn your money?
Working as a waitress at Riverwalk Bistro

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
No

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
Well, aside from my dad, no.

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?
My bassoon.

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
Nope

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
Yes

11) Did you know anyone who had a baby?
No

12) Did you move anywhere?
Boston.

13) Did you have sex with anyone?
Yes

14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
Silversun Pickups/OK Go/Snow Patrol – also played in several concerts, performed in Tosa East’s show, saw The Altar Boyz, and Urinetown.

15) Are you registered to vote?
Yes

16) Who did you want to win Big Brother?
Don’t care.

17) Where do you live now?
Cambridge except when I’m home – then Milwaukee

18) Describe your birthday.
Spent studying for a final.

19) What’s one thing you thought you’d never do but did in 2007?
Fell in love.

20) What has been your favorite moment?
When Micah told me that he still wanted to be with me.

21) What’s something you learned about yourself?
I’m worth it.

22) Any new additions to your family?
Only if you count our exchange student, Kevin

23.) What was your best month?
July

24 25 <– disappeared

26) Made new friends?
Yes

27) New best friend?
Micah sort of is.

28) Favorite Night out?
ABC

29) Do you think 2008 will be better or worse?
Better

30) New Years this year:
Hosting a dinner party, watching the ball drop in NYC, then heading down to Hogmanay for midnight

December 17, 2007

one down, two to go.
maybe
i’ll survive

December 16, 2007

double fuck.