October 30, 2007

 my words aren’t very coherent anymore.

i can’t wait to go home.


October 25, 2007

 sooooooooo much to do!

October 24, 2007

 seeing your face makes it just a little bit harder than it was before
blue blue blue eyes right there
how i wish i could just
put my hands through the screen
to touch your face again;
how i memorized it,
those nights, every flaw and fault
each movement of my fingers
imprinting your skin on mine
whispering “i love you” with my hands
on your cheeks
i can feel your face beneath my fingertips
i will never forget
how it feels

i’m living for the day when
it’s not a memory anymore.

less than a month until i see you again, my love.

dear paul,

October 21, 2007

miss you
am not

and i’m glad you’re out of my life.

for the first time, i’m seeing what it’s like to not just settle for something.  
i’m actually happy; really, genuinely happy. 

and it’s not because of you.

so take care, paul
and thanks for showing me what it felt like to be hurt
so i could know what it felt like to be loved.

as always,

mon cheri

October 10, 2007

 in the morning
the light coming in through
the curtains – so
soft, the way
it touches your face
eyes closed and you’re
breathing deep
the smell of you in
the morning, i lean in
your hand resting on my side,
skin on skin
all shadows and shimmers
the sun coming up
i touch your face the way the sun does
so lightly, as if you
might break
like a seashell or
my heart
as if
pressing too hard,
i’ll push through to tomorrow
when all i want is to
stop here and
now with you.
so fast asleep, like a child
turning your face into my shoulder
with a slow sigh
stroking your hair and watching
your face
you can’t hear me, but
i’ll tell you again
(and again and again and again)

October 6, 2007

i’m in St. Louis!!!!

so close.

October 4, 2007

this time tomorrow i’ll be in St. Louis.