random thoughts

July 5, 2007

the movie Amelie would be ideal for watching with someone cuddly.

the fireworks tonight were lovely and the first i’ve seen with my family for years.

i thought of Paul today and felt a jolt because i hadn’t thought of him for a while.  

i had a really nice night the other day, going to see a movie and then out for coffee with a very interesting person, which made me feel not as down as i’ve been lately.

i would like to see him again but i don’t know if anything would work out with us and i’d hate to be disappointed.

i’m glad Erin is home.  i miss Julia.

i really don’t want to go back to work.

i’m scared about next fall.

i’m very tired.

having seen Amelie last night for the first time, i’m looking back and thinking of all of the times i felt that funny touch – that brush with something bigger than myself (not God) that drew me to a person without me knowing why.  i think of Nino’s book of torn photographs and wish i had one like it.  or a collection of footprints in cement.  or breaking the surface of creme brulee with a spoon.  twice i’ve met with the people who have brushed me.  twice i have felt the brush and been too afraid to say it.  once i’ve felt the brush and had the courage to say something but i don’t know if he’s the courage to say something back.  or maybe i’m just imagining it?

i wish that i lived in an apartment in Montmartre and fell in love with a man who collected pictures from rail stations and rode a bicycle and made signs to find me.

i miss you.

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