July 31, 2007

i miss you.

since you been gone,
i can breathe
for the first time.

visiting the pier

July 25, 2007

here is a good thing:
when someone
says
“you make me happy” and
they just 
smile s o  b i g
then you put
your hands
on their 
cheeks like pink starfish
and give them butterfly
kisses and laugh
when they kiss your forehead.

hindsight is 20/20

July 19, 2007

yesterday was a very good day.

i think today will be good, too.

why is it that once i’m finally on my way to leaving here, i’m ready to stay?

i need sleep

July 17, 2007

it’s raining outside and i’m happy right now.

lists

July 16, 2007

1. Braeburn was beautiful.  i love it there.  but you knew that already.
2. i love Erin.
3. today was wonderful.  although there was some drama.  it was a really good day.
4. i love Lake Michigan
5. i love the art museum
6. i love watching movies with cute boys
7. i’m kind of a dork.
8. i feel jumpy.

July 11, 2007

and i guess that
since you don’t remember, anyways
you didn’t mean it.

i suppose i just wanted you to
like i always do.

tonight

July 11, 2007

well i didn’t kiss him

but i wanted to

and i think he did too

but i think we were both too shy

and both a little afraid.

Boston

July 10, 2007

in the light of the sun,
is there anyone? 
oh, it has begun.
oh dear you look so lost, 
eyes are red and tears are shed,
this world you must’ve crossed – you said,

“you don’t know me, 
you don’t even care, oh yeah,”
you said,
“you don’t know me, 
and you don’t wear my chains, oh yeah,”

essential yet appealed, 
carry all your thoughts 
across an open field.
when flowers gaze at you,
they’re not the only ones 
who cry when they see you.
you said,

“you don’t know me, 
you don’t even care, oh yeah,”
you said
“you don’t know me, 
and you don’t wear my chains, oh yeah,”

she said, “i think i’ll go to Boston –
i think i’ll start a new life,
i think i’ll start it over, 
where no one knows my name,
i’ll get out of California, 
i’m tired of the weather,
i think i’ll get a lover and fly him out to Spain.
i think i’ll go to Boston,
i think that i’m just tired
i think i need a new town, 
to leave this all behind.
i think i need a sunrise, 
i’m tired of the sunset,

i hear it’s nice in the summer, 
some snow would be nice. oh yeah.”

“you don’t know me, 
you don’t even care.”

“Boston, where no one knows my name – yeah
where no one knows my name.
where no one knows my name.
yeah Boston,
where no one knows my name.”

(Augustana)

the next morning

July 10, 2007

i know how unhappy you are
and i know now that it is not my fault
and i know now that it is not that i wasn’t good enough
it’s that you aren’t good enough
because you can’t be happy with someone else
until you are happy with yourself

and i know that i will be okay
because that’s the way things have to be
and i will not stop living my life
and you shouldn’t either.

i miss you
i love you

even if i never say it again

please, remember me.

and when you’ve learned to be happy,
i will be here and waiting.